If Love Could Have Saved You
by the-Mad-Majesty-of-Muchness
Summary: While cleaning some things out of a bedroom closet with his son one day, Fiyero comes across some things that stir up some painful memories and emotions. One shot.


**Okay, here's that other one shot I was talking about. Like I said, it's kind of sad. The basics of this had been rattling around in my head for a while, but it really came together when I was looking through the latest issue of the Pyramid Collection catalog and saw this one specific ring, and then the basic idea I'd already had popped back into my head all of a sudden, and I looked at the ring, and I went, "Wait a minute..."**

**And thus, this story was born.**

**Hope you enjoy, and hopefully I don't depress anyone too much or anything like that.**

**Jaxom and his sister are mine, but everyone else belongs to Gregory Maguire and/or Stephen Schwartz.**

* * *

><p>"Dad, what's all this?"<p>

Fiyero looked up. He and Jaxom were going through a bunch of old stuff that they'd pulled out of the attic, Fiyero having decided that they needed to get rid of some stuff. The older of his two sons had volunteered to help go through it with him and sort everything out. Now, he was staring at Fiyero with eyes that looked just like his mother's, unruly brown curls hanging partially in his face, his gaze questioning as he indicated the items in the cardbord box sitting in front of him. Fiyero set his own box aside for the time being and scooted closer to his son, peering into Jax's box.

"What did it say on top?" he asked.  
>"'Misc. Papers,'" Jax replied.<p>

Fiyero pulled something out at random and unfolded it, then smiled. "It's your birth certificate," he said, turning it around for Jax to see.  
>"But my birth certificate is hanging on the wall with Liir and Nyda's," Jaxom said.<p>

"That's the unofficial version that has your hand and footprints on it," Fiyero explained, "this one is a copy of the official one. It's got all the information about where you were born, stuff about me and your mom, that sort of thing. See?"

"You were twenty-one when you had me?"  
>"Yeah, I thought you knew that."<br>"If I did, I forgot about it."

"Let's see what else is in here," Fiyero said. He dove his hand in and shuffled the papers around a bit, then pulled out a folded up piece of paper covered in wrinkles, almost as if someone had crumpled it into a ball and then smoothed it out again, or stored it in their pocket for a long time. As he unfolded it, it became apparent that the creases had undergone the process of folding and unfolding many times before. He let his eyes scan over it, and a smile began appearing on his face, his eyes suddenly growing moist.

"This is the first love note I ever gave your mom," he said. "It...We were in college, it was our junior year, a few weeks after Aunt Glinda and I broke up, and...Our friend Avaric, he...he'd decided it had been too long since there'd been a party, so he took it upon himself to thrown one, and of course it was at the Ozdust Ballroom. That was coming up soon, and Mom had been saying that she didn't want to go, not after what had happened the last time, and...I wrote this, and I put it on her desk before class started, and when we met up in the library later that day for her to tutor me, she brought this with her, agreed to go with me, so we went, and...nothing was ever the same after that."

"What's it say?" Jaxom asked.

"'Dear Fae,'" Fiyero read, "'I'm not very good at this kind of thing because I've never done it before, so I'm apologizing in advance for the awkward turtle-ness. Anyway, I have a few things I'd like to say to you. First off, hi. Um, wait no, strike that. Can I start over?...Um...Hi. Again. I, um...I just wanted to say how pretty you are. I know you don't think so, but I do. I like it when you wear your hair down, I think it suits you. I mean, the braid is pretty, too, I'm not saying I don't like that, I just...I like it down more. Like I said, it suits you. You've got really pretty hair, and it just...looks prettier when it's down. Anyway, your eyes. I also really like your eyes. I don't know if you know this, but they've got these little silver flecks in them, and I think those are really beautiful, especially in the sun, because that's when they're really noticeable.'"

"Geez, you weren't kidding when you said it was gonna be awkward turtle," Jax said. Fiyero grinned, but kept reading.

"'Did you know that when you concentrate hard enough on something, you get this little crease between your eyes and sort of stick the tip of your tongue out between your teeth? It's adorable, but not in a Glinda way, more of a...cute, nerdy, smart girl kind of way. Not that being a nerd is a bad thing, or being smart! Um, anyway...I also really love the way you get so passionate about things. Honestly, it's more than a little amazing to watch, the way your eyes light up, and how you just start rambling and carrying on without stopping and how you barely even realize you're doing it...Also, I didn't want to say anything in front of anyone because I didn't want to embarrass you, but I've heard you sing, and you've got the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. What was that song you were singing? It was something about 'the strange and lonely,' I think? Look, Elphaba, I guess what I'm trying to say is...Do you wanna go to Avaric's party with me? I know—'"

His voice cracked and he lowered his head, putting one hand over his face while the other still held the note. "Dad?" Jaxom asked, putting a hand on his father's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Fiyero said, "I'm fine." He composed himself and lifted his head, but his eyes were moist and rimmed with red. "How about we take a break for a little while? We've been at this for almost an hour, I think we've earned it."

"You sure?"  
>"Yeah, it's fine. Go and hang out with your friends or something, we can work on this more later."<br>Jaxom flashed a lopsided grin nearly identical to the one Fiyero was known to display from time to time, then got up and headed out of the room, leaving Fiyero sitting cross-legged on the floor surrounded by boxes, papers, photographs, and all sorts of other things. After a moment, he got up, closed the door, then returned to where he'd been sitting. He picked up one of the photographs and gazed at it with a sad smile.

It was from his and Elphaba's wedding. His own face stared back at him, a wide grin on his face, one arm around Elphaba's waist and the other around Glinda's shoulders. Elphaba looked absolutely radiant in her lace-and-chiffon wedding dress, her midnight hair in an elegant up-do with loose tendrils framing her face, along with the scalloped edges of her lace veil. Glinda looked as beautiful as she ever had in her pale blue bridesmaid's dress, her blonde curls held away from her face by a crystal-studded barrette in the back that, though he couldn't see it in the picture, he remembered very clearly.

Then he looked at the ring he was wearing, and his smile slowly faded as the first tears fell and a quiet sob escaped from his throat. He set the picture aside and covered his face with both hands as the tidal wave of memories and emotions came crashing down on him full-force.

_"Well? What's wrong, will she be okay?"_  
><em>"It's...difficult to say. She has consumption."<em>  
><em>"Consumption? You mean tuberculosis?"<em>  
><em>"If that's what you prefer to call it, then yes."<em>  
><em>"But you can cure her, right, she'll be okay, she'll get better?"<em>  
><em>"As I said, that's difficult to say. I assure you, I will do everything I can, but you must understand, I'm a physician, not a miracle worker."<em>

_"Are you saying it will take a miracle for her to get better?"_  
><em>"I'm saying that I can't make any promises, and you should prepare for the worst, just in case."<em>

The twins had only been six months old at the time, and Jaxom was two. She'd held out for so long, fighting the disease for nearly four whole months until finally, one day, her body had just...reached the point where it couldn't take anymore and had given up. He had been there with her when that had happened, holding her hand as the last of her strength slowly faded, watched as the light had left those beautiful eyes and her head had sunken into the pillow, lips parted ever-so-slightly as a gentle sigh had escaped; It hadn't been followed by another breath.

Fiyero had never truly been the same since then. His smile never quite reached his eyes anymore, he didn't laugh and joke as much as he used to, didn't play his guitar as often as he once had (though he had taught Jaxom how to play; that had been the most he'd touched it since what had happened). He just...wasn't quite the same man he had been before, and he and Glinda both knew deep in their hearts that he probably never would be again, just the same as she would never be quite the same woman.

He twisted his ring. It wasn't his wedding ring. He hadn't worn that in a long time, at least not on his finger. After losing Elphaba, he'd started wearing it on a chain around his neck, keeping hers in a ring box in his nightstand drawer. The one around his finger was black, and on the inside, in white letters, were inscribed the words, _If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever._

He'd done fine on his own for the most part. Of course, he had help from Glinda. (She was, after all, the kids' godmother and honorary aunt.) But for the most part, it was primarily him. He had learned how not to burn down the house when making dinner (or burn the food, which certainly made it taste much better), and apparently, he hadn't done too bad at giving Jax "the Talk" when the time had come for that, because the fifteen-year-old felt plenty comfortable coming to him with questions when he had them. (The thing he had really worried about was giving it to his daughter, knowing how awkward it would be for the both of them; He had finally just decided to let Glinda do that for him, and she had handled it beautifully, Oz bless her.)

Fiyero's life certainly hadn't turned out the way he'd envisioned it. He had imagined marrying Elphaba and spending the rest of his life with her, raising their children together, getting to see their grandchildren, and if they were lucky, maybe even their great-grandchildren, and both of them dying old and peacefully and hopefully without too much of a time gap in between. Instead, they'd had five years of married life, three beautiful children, and then one of them had gotten sick and died much too young, just months after the twins were born, never getting to see the kids grow up and leaving the other one alone and grieving.

Things had turned out far differently than he'd imagined, not at all what he'd wanted for them. But somehow, he was doing...okay. Certainly not great or anything. But...pretty okay. He and the kids had gone through their ups and downs just like any other family, but that was how it was supposed to be. He didn't ever plan on remarrying, because it would feel like a betrayal to Elphaba, and even if it wouldn't, he was still in love with her and always would be. He knew in his heart that he would never feel that way about any other woman again, would never meet anyone as beautiful and amazing as she had been. Elphaba had known him better than he knew himself in some ways, and that was a connection he knew he would never be able to make with anyone ever again. It had been unique to them and them alone.

So maybe he did die a little inside every day. Maybe he did worry from time to time that he wasn't doing a good enough job with the kids. Maybe he did cry himself to sleep from time to time because the pain was just too much for him to take. Maybe he wasn't quite as happy-go-lucky as he'd once been. But he was getting by. He was doing okay. And somehow, that was good enough for him.

_If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever._

* * *

><p><strong>Did anyone catch the reference to the Adam Lambert song in there towards the end? Okay, so those of you who have read my Wicked parody would have recognized the twins had they actually made an appearance, because they are Liir and Nydarella, just like in the post-musical epilogue chapter of my parody. So...yeah. That's that, I guess. Also, Katherine the Fabulous and I are currently working on starting a WickedOnce Upon a Time crossover, so be on the lookout for that, also!  
><strong>


End file.
